(Clearwisdom.net)

I began cultivation in the summer of 2000. Almost as soon as I began, I formed some notions about myself as a cultivator that have challenged me throughout my cultivation. I would like to share my understanding of this, and also want to talk about the good fortune I have to work with one of our media projects.

I used to look back regretfully on my past years of cultivation, lamenting that I did not do well enough.

Feeling despondent, I would then struggle to do the things I needed to do. I would try to escape my guilty feelings by indulging in attachments rather than doing what I knew I should do. I would even isolate myself

from practitioners, ignoring emails and phone calls and not going to group study when I had the chance.

I was consumed by thoughts of myself and my own cultivation. Overcome by this selfishness, I could not display a practitioner's compassion. I missed opportunities that will never come again.

Now it seems so pitiable and laughable that I would let these notions control me so completely. Instead of doing the things I wanted to do, I regretted not doing them in the past. It makes no sense.

I realized that Master must have been talking about me when he said,

"When I taught the Fa last time I brought up how some students have made mistakes that they shouldn't have. Actually, as long as you're steadfast in studying the Fa and study it well, you correct yourself, and you conduct yourself well again, then you're still a Dafa disciple. Just do well next time, that's all, and don't dwell on it as if it were so grave. If in your mind you take it to be so grave it'll create another situation where you feel pressured by regret and worry, and then you will sink into the attachment and you won't be able to break out of it. The whole cultivation process of a Dafa disciple is a process of removing human attachments. No matter what it is you've experienced, as soon as you realize the problem just correct it immediately; if you fall, just get up and continue to do what a Dafa disciple should do. ("Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Vancouver, Canada," in 2003)

It is so true. Our notions can be easily set aside with a simple change of thought.

When I put aside thoughts of myself and only think of others, it is like a bright road opens before me, and the suffocating weight of my shame dissolves like a morning's mist before the bright sun. Thinking of others makes me feel inspired to go forward and do whatever I can in the time that remains. Thinking of others leaves no room for regrets, replacing remorse with hope and tranquility.

I have been honored to play my role in Fa-rectification, even if I haven't done as well as I could have. It seems to me that my path is laid out before me like an airplane runway, with bright lights telling me where I need to go. Thinking of the great tasks Master has entrusted to me, I can't help but cry with gratitude at the precious opportunities I have had.

When the English newspaper established by practitioners began, I was given clear hints to work on it. As I followed these hints, I had a wish to work wholeheartedly on the paper, whatever it took. I was not concerned with money or position and would be happy to suffer any hardship if it meant I could follow this sacred path. I think that, because of this wish, I have been given so many chances to play my role.

Among the precious opportunities I have had has been covering Shen Yun shows all across Canada. At first, I must admit, I thought Shen Yun reporting was such a hardship. You must work tirelessly into the early morning to finish the reports, and there is a lot of pressure to find the best people to interview.

But what was once a hardship is now a joy. As a reporter I have gotten to ask hundreds and hundreds of people what they thought of the show. Standing there, listening to their glowing praise, seeing the light in their eyes that shows hope and understanding, I have been constantly reminded of the power of Shen Yun.

Another opportunity I had was to cover the Winter Olympics in Vancouver last year with thousands of reporters from around the world.

During the Olympics, I made friends with reporters from one of the most prestigious newspapers in the United States. One day when I was covering a hockey game, I started telling one of these reporters that I really admired his paper because of articles it had published about the persecution of Falun Gong many years ago. The articles won a Pulitzer prize and had a huge impact on people's understanding of Falun Gong and the persecution. I was completely surprised when he told me he was the one that wrote them. After that, we talked a lot about China and Falun Gong and the difficulties he experienced getting back into China after he wrote those articles.

This had a big impact on me. This person's articles were very influential and were a massive blow to the evil forces trying to repress Falun Gong back in those days. Talking to him reminded me of how important the work we do is and how influential the media can be. It also reminded me of the kinds of opportunities we have when we conform to everyday society and play our roles well. This is an issue I have thought about often in my role as the Parliament Hill reporter in our nation's capital, Ottawa.

As a Parliament Hill reporter, I spend my day mingling with Members of Parliament and top reporters that you recognize on television. I sit overlooking the House of Commons, and I'd guess that just about every MP knows my face, even if they don't know my name.

There are so many opportunities here that I can't even begin to list them, but I don't do nearly well enough to catch them all. Doing this job has started to show me just how powerful the newspaper has become.

We have known for some time now in Canada that our English newspaper is well-read by many people in government. Our articles have come up during Parliamentary debates, and we have been contacted directly by the Prime Minister's Office on more than one occasion. But lately that influence has grown even greater and has really made me think about the impact practitioners have and how everything in the human world revolves around the needs of Fa-rectification.

Some people may call these coincidences, but I don't believe that is so. Several times, I am not even sure how many, very soon after we have written an article about a specific issue, the government has taken action to address it. Most recently it happened when we wrote about the problems of organized crime, and the government then introduced a bill to address it. Before that, we wrote about the unruly behavior of some debates in Parliament and then an MP introduced a motion to stop it. This kind of thing seems to happen more and more frequently.

Knowing that my opportunities with our media projects are so vast, and that practitioners and our work to validate the Fa are the focal point of the universe, how can I lament the mistakes I made in the past? For a practitioner, none of the things that make everyday people happy can bring us real joy. What is entertainment for them is poison for us; it buries our true thoughts under a mirage of sentimentality that pervades human society.

Worrying about my own cultivation state is nothing more than selfishness and a waste of time. If I had only one wish, I would hope to validate the Fa with every moment that remains, putting the needs of sentient beings and Fa-rectification before any thought of myself and truly showing myself worthy of everything Master has given me.

Thank you, Master. Thank you, everyone.