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Cultivating Amidst Conflicts with Relatives

July 08, 2017 |   By a Falun Dafa practitioner in Siping City, Jilin Province, China

(Minghui.org) I am a middle school teacher from a rural area who started practicing Falun Dafa at the end of 2013. Before cultivating in Dafa, I had many conflicts with relatives. After I began to practice Dafa, I followed the Fa principles to guide my actions and words. Following the Dafa principles resolved all of these conflicts. At the same time, I elevated my xinxing and show everyone that Dafa is good.

Discord Among Family Members

Given my atheist education, I did not believe in anything. When my mother, aunt, uncle, and his wife began to practice Dafa, I thought that they did not know any better, given their educational background. However, after they practiced Dafa for more than 10 years, I saw that nothing could shake their firm belief in that cultivation practice. Remarkably, they enjoyed good health and treated people and situations differently than people who did not cultivate.

My uncle's wife displayed great wisdom. Whenever I felt troubled, I confided in her, and was often moved by her words. Now, I understand that she used the Fa-principles when she dealt with people.

In her mind, I always worried about others' actions. After my father passed away suddenly, I worried about my mother, younger brother and his wife, who lived under the same roof. My sister-in-law often quarreled with my brother, and she’d call me to mediate every time they had a fight. I had to be there even if it was the middle of the night. Fortunately, my mother practices Dafa; otherwise she wouldn’t have been able to put up with my brother’s never-ending marital trouble.

My mother-in-law, a strong willed person, and I had our difficulties, because I was a competitive person too. When my husband and I decided to buy an apartment in 2013, she offered almost no financial support to us. Months later, however, she bought an apartment for her daughter as a wedding gift. This differential treatment to her son and daughter brought discord into our relationship.

Regret for Waiting to Read Zhuan Falun

Given our family discord, I was upset over a long period of time. I came down with a benign breast tumor, and neither medicine or injections made a difference. So, I was depressed and my mind was not at ease.

Then I remembered the book Zhuan Falun that was given to me by my uncle’s wife several years ago. I read the entire book within two days. My mind and body underwent great changes. I used to think that nobody understood me and no one could comfort me. But everything I read in this book resonated in my heart and I had found the answers to many of my questions. I regretted not having read this book earlier.

Soon into the practice, the tumor and all my other illnesses disappeared.

Following the Fa Principles

No longer was I depressed or unhappy. I lived by the Dafa standards and taught my children the Fa principles. They support and believe in the goodness of Dafa.

My brother eventually divorced his wife and gave her all their marital property, including the house. My mother had nowhere to live, and I rented a place for her at my expense. I also took care of my brother when he was hospitalized for 20 days shortly after the divorce. While doing all these, I felt no resentment against my ex-sister-in-law because I am a Dafa practitioner.

My husband opposed my cultivation, but I refused to be moved. Whenever he swore at me, I sent righteous thoughts.

Master's said,

“For a cultivator, looking within is a magical tool.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2009 Washington DC International Fa Conference” in Teaching the Fa at the Conference IX)

I decided to look within, but could not find anything. When I talked to my uncle, he said that I still needed to look within, as there may be much where I did not do well.

This time I looked deeper and found that I treated my mother differently than I did my mother-in-law. I did household chores for my mother, made meals for her and made sure she was comfortable, while I did little to nothing for my mother-in-law.

There were also other attachments, such as selfishness, jealousy, competitiveness, and hate. I had to eliminate all of them.

After letting go of attachments, I also took care of my mother-in-law and told her that I did so because I was a Dafa practitioner. She later agreed to withdraw from the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its youth associations.

She often tried to give me money, but I always refused to accept it. Our relationship has become harmonious and my husband no longer fights with me.

After my family witnessed the changes in me, word spread that I practiced Dafa. My relatives tried to persuade me to give up Dafa using unkind remarks they had heard about this cultivation practice. I told them that what they were told were lies and that I would not give up Dafa.

Validating The Fa

I started practicing Dafa 14 years after the CCP had launched the persecution of this cultivation practice. I wanted my friends and family to know about Dafa. However, given the persecution, it was not easy for them to understand the goodness of Dafa.

Another practitioner helped me set up a Dafa material production site. I make truth-clarification materials and distribute them.

The first time I went to distribute materials, I was terrified. I knew that this was an attachment to fear. Why should I be afraid for doing the most righteous thing? I soon removed this attachment.

I no longer resent my relatives, and I work hard to resolve conflicts based on Dafa principles. Instead, I thank them for helping me on my cultivation path. Dafa has changed and allowed me to let go of my attachment to fame, personal gain, and sentimentality.

I will learn from Master's teachings and study the Fa well, persist in practicing the exercises and resolve any conflict I face.